It now is one week shy of a month since my lil man has been away from me, with his father.
I miss him like no tomorrow! I call him everyday and think of him more often than I have words.
I am awaiting the day he comes back home! Oh I so can't wait! * I LOVE YOU*
He will return home the weekend of Shai's birthday. I am thinking the 27th (A.M) of February.
I thought in a way I would enjoy my break since Shai is in school and Ray is with Stephen. I was wrong! I was an emotional wreck the first 2 weeks! I was very depressed. I think I had more of a separation anxiety than my son. I am no where close to being fully comfortable with day care and the idea of another person taking care of my children. It has been very hard for me to adapt to this new situation. One of which I don't care to ever repeat! I enjoy taking care of my kids myself, that is my job not anyone elses full time job but mine and their father. Don't get me wrong everyone needs a break now and then. Also when there is something important that comes up it is always nice to have those around you that you trust to help with your children if needed. I myself hold gratitude knowing that I enjoy every moment of my children while they're young. More than most can say! I spend more than just 2-3 hours in a day with my kids and I enjoy it! I don't complain only being around my children for a few hours, I enjoy them while they're young! This time of a childs life you will never get back!
So many people in this world today do not spend enough quality time with their kids.
You have a weekend off work? take your kids out, do a craft, spend the whole weekend dedicated to your kids for once. They will enjoy it! They may not show you but it will touch their heart.
Back on the initial subject, I have found myself missing the loud, expressive, creative and goofy lil man in my life! I miss him bugging me every 5 minutes. I guess in all reality it doesn't bug me because I missed it an hour later when I was left with, "what do I do with myself? I am not used to peace of mind quietly". I wish I could tuck him in to bed every night, read him a story, sing a song, tickle, see his smile right before my eyes and just enjoy his presence! It has been very hard for me to not kiss him or hug him right before bed each night. I do however, do the best I can over the telephone.
Not much longer.. I am half way through this...
Rayden, Mommy loves you so much!
I will see you soon sweetheart~ xoxo~
I miss you...
Thursday, January 21, 2010
My lil man
Monday, December 14, 2009
Going to Wisconsin and more...
My fiance, my kids and I are going to Wisconsin for Christmas this year.
We are leaving on December 21st. in the afternoon.
Perry has not spent a Christmas @ his parents home in 12 yrs!
My kids Aunt Sarah (Stephen's sister) also lives in WI so we are meeting up with them @ her home in Fon Du Lac.
Then we are leaving the kids with Stephen until Christmas eve evening. My kids will then spend the rest of Christmas eve and Christmas day with Perry, me and Perry's family. The 26th Rayden will be driving back with his daddy (Stephen) to Kansas City, KS. where he will spend hopefully some quality time with his father! My son really needs that and I pray that Stephen does more for his son then he received as a boy! Rayden will return to me the end of February or in March.
I sure will be missing my lil monster!! Worried like no other as well.. However, I have to give to my son what is good and right for him. That is why I am allowing him to have that much time to bond more with his father. It would not be fair to keep my son away from his father just because I will miss him. Shoot I miss him and Shailis also when I am only away for a few hours lol I hope I can make it through the next couple months away from him. I know I will have separation anxiety! I seen Stephen partially grow up with out a father around and my brother also and I don't want to do that to my son at all! A boy needs his Father!
I know lately others may not like my decisions or question my doings. However, It's my life and my kids not yours! :)
Amyway...
I am looking forward to meeting Perry's Family soon. Especially his mother, she is such a warm n kind hearted woman! We have developed a good relationship already! His mother, father and sister are very accepting of me and my children and I couldn't ask for more! His parents already are so thoughtful n giving for my kids, more than I can say about their other part of the family! Not mine, mine are good with my kids!
I am down a bit though because, I have not went not one Christmas away from my mother in 24 years. I offered to bring her with us for our trip. However, she doesn't want to be that far away for that long ( 10 days) from her responsibilities at home. I understand, I just know I will miss her! We are celebrating Christmas with her and my brother before we go though so at least that will make me feel some what better about being away... *sorta*
I love you all ... I hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas and a beautiful & healthy new year! God bless * luvz n hugz*
Friday, September 11, 2009
LoVe of My LiFe
I met a wonderful man name Perry who I have fallen deeply in love with!
We are now engaged :) He purposed 2 me on Aug. 17th 2009 @ Red Butte Garden. Our day was so beautiful, we walked through the garden holding hands. He then walked me up and over to a secluded spot with a bench and vines surrounding the lil gazebo. Holding me telling me how much he loves me... on one knee and I am just in ahhhh... not having the breath 2 say anything, we just gaze into each others eyes as he slides the ring on my finger as I smile @ him.. I then say, " uh hu" as tears begin to fill my eyes, he kisses my hand then stands up and we begin to hold each other. Telling one another just how much we love each other! Then I whisper in his ear, " I'd love more than anything 2 be your wife and share this life with you". We then walked down the trail holding hands enjoying the beautiful garden together. Walked up the trail further after seeing most of the garden and sat together on a stone over looking the city and soon watching as the sun sets :)
Was a beautiful day!
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Heaven's Grocery store
Shop in Heaven's Grocery Store
I was walking down life's highway a long time ago.
One day I saw a sign that read Heaven's Grocery Stores.
As I got , a little closer, the door came open wide,
And when I came to myself, I was standing inside.
I saw a host of angels; they were standing everywhere.
And one angel said, "My Child, shop with care."
Everything a Christian needed was in that grocery store.
And all you couldn't carry you would come back the next day for more.
First, I got some patience, love was in the same row.
Further down was understanding, you need that everything, you need that everywhere you go.
I got the box or two of wisdom, a bag or two of faith.
I just couldn't miss the Holy Ghost for He was all over the place.
I stopped to get some strength and courage to help me run the race.
By then my basket was getting full, But I remembered I needed some grace.
I didn't forget salvation, for salvation that was free.
So, I tried to get enough of that to save you and me.
Then I started to the counter to pay my grocery bill.
For I though I had everything to do my Master's will.
As I went up the aisle, I saw prayer and just had to put that in.
For I knew when I stepped outside, I would run right into sin.
Peace and joy were plentiful, they were on the last shelf.
Song and praise were hanging near so I just helped myself.
Then I said, "Now how much do I owe?"
He just smiled and said,"Just take them everywhere you go"
"How much do I really owe"?
He smiled and said, my child, Jesus paid your bill a long time ago.
Sunday, February 22, 2009
Saturday, January 24, 2009
100 THINGS... WHAT HAVE U DONE??
THIS HELPS OPEN YOUR EYE'S & REALIZE THERE ARE SO MANY SITES 2 VISIT & THINGS 2 DO MORE THAN WE REALIZE. I COULD EASILY ADD A 100 MORE!
1. Started your own blog
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to Disneyland
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo
11. Bungee jumped
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a business
58. Taken a martial arts class
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Gotten flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favorite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper
85. Read the entire Bible
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Milked a cow
